Fast Times at Whitney High

Things in my life have suddenly accelerated.  A lot is changing (very quickly) and it is questionable whether it is all for the best.

These numerous changes are the main reason for my recent blogging absence. Oh, and I've also been playing a little bit too much Tap Fish.  How do you waste so much time on a pointless app you ask?  Good question.

So what is ch-ch-changing?  Here is the short list

1. BAD: My car "Sassy." Just paid her off as of TODAY.  So naturally, over the weekend she started acting like a real bitch.  Currently she's (hopefully) being fixed.

2. GOOD: School is done, one week from today!

3. BAD: School is done, one week from today, meaning I have piles of work to get done!

4. GOOD: Kyle and I found an apartment we love, love, LOVE and put in our application for it.

5. BAD: Still no word on whether or not we got the aforementioned apartment

6. GOOD: Training for a 1/2 marathon in August (Thanks Nate).  Yes, that is 13.1 miles.  Yes, I have lost my mind.   No, I have never run that far in my life (current record: 6 miles).  Yes, I realize I have a loooong way to go.

6. QUESTIONABLE: My job for next year.  It was posted to internal candidates: No takers.  It is now being posted to external candidates (since it is considered a "new" position).  I will be a "preferred" interview but everyone keeps reminding me someone good, great, better than me could interview.  Thanks for the reminder.  And to make me keep sweating, the interview might not take place until EARLY JULY! Ugh!

So there you go.  My stress level as of late is through the roof.  I do believe I'm always 2.5 seconds away from a heart attack.  At least I have tap fish....at least I have tap fish.

Hope Lost?

Today I am sad, I am angry, I am upset, and I am feeling a little bit hopeless.

For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be a teacher.  When I did my student teaching, I KNEW teaching was perfect for me.  Teaching makes me happy, I honestly feel like it is what I was born to do.

And while I don't want to whine and complain and feel sorry for myself, I am just so FRUSTRATED right now. 

We had "teaching meetings" today, and I was hoping to get some good news about my job for next year.  And while I didn't get the worst news (aka: "No job for you next year") it isn't what I would call good...by a long shot. 

To be a full time teacher at my school you must be considered 12/12.  (I am currently 4/12).  Next year my position will become 11/12.  Sounds great right?  Nearly full time!  However, it is looking quite likely that this 11/12 will in fact become a FULL time.  What's wrong with that you ask?

As soon as my position becomes full time, it will be opened to district employees, and potentially outside candidates.  I heard a rumor today that there are some Middle School teachers chomping at the bit to get into the high school.  Not good for me.  If the position is opened to outside candidates, I would have to go through the interview process (again) and could potentially face off against someone with more experience (and frankly more talent).  Again, not good for me.

I'm trying not to be dramatic, but in the pit of my stomach I just don't have a good feeling.

I want to teach!  More than anything!  Why is it so hard for me to just get/keep a job?

It is so unbelievably depressing to think about going back to subbing.  No matter what anyone says, it makes me feel like a failure.

It hurts to feel that way about  yourself.  Very much so.  And hurts to potentially not be able to do something you love. 

I've been praying for two years now to get a full time job.  I keep hoping beyond hope that something will work out for me.  But when, WHEN will it be my time?

I'm keeping my fingers tightly crossed.  But after two years of failure, I think mine may be broken.

Girl Crush

I do realize I've been doing everything BUT "Blogging On" as of late.  Life for me recently has been a medley of end-of-the-year school stuff, end-of-the-season soccer stuff, deciding where Kyle and I should move to this summer, and worrying about still not getting any official word over my job for next year.  I have been busy, that is for sure.

Moving on to more important things.  Because I've been so busy lately, I've sadly not been able to watch the TODAY show very often.  This makes me upset for two reasons:
1. It's a quality program.  News, fluff, and great hosts all in hours upon hours of television = perfection!
2. It features my girl crush.

Who is she, you ask?

It's Ann Curry!!

I mean seriously, what is not to love about this woman?  She is smart, beautiful, and oh so caring.  Have you ever seen her interview someone?  Or report from a war-zone?  Or look deep into the eyes of a grieving child and let them know life will get better?  Or trade jokes with Mr. Roker?  It doesn't matter what she does, it's always quality, and it's always touching.  SHE GETS IT. 

And she is my girl crush.  And don't judge me.  And that is all.

Pawfection

I do believe a congrats are in order.

Kaya Scrincles, whose amazing blog I follow, has just come in 2nd place in a very prestigious contest.

Now, I don't want to say I saw this coming....but I saw this coming.  The first time I saw photographs of Kaya strolling on a beach, I knew she was a born STAR!!

http://kayascrincles.blog.com/2011/04/15/i-won-second-place/ 

Congrats Kaya!! (And Luz!)

Woof!!

Oh the Drama....

I love coaching soccer.  It is incredibly fun to work with kids outside of school.  I love the competitiveness and I find myself laughing and almost always having a great time.  I never really saw myself becoming a coach but it is now a huge part of my identity.  It is who I am, something I'm good at, and something I love doing.

However, there are days when coaching can become a bit...stressful.  Days like today when the drama doesn't seem to stop.

Practice began today with a girl complaining that her heart was beating very fast and that she couldn't catch her breath.  I sent her in to see our Athletic Trainer but she returned a few minutes later with the instructions to sit out the rest of practice.  About 10 minutes later the same girl came to me crying and hyperventilating saying that she felt worse.  She then collapsed into my arms before doubling over and vomiting all over next to my feet.  Fun!  (No worries, she's feeling much better now).

Practice continued to get better when the girl with the strongest leg (kick) on the team nailed me in the face with a soccer ball (both knocking off my sunglasses and leaving me with a very tender cheekbone).

Then I got to play mediator between two "besties" on the team who were in a typical high school girl fight: "You are SUCH a backstabber!"  "I am NOT, don't say things like that!"  Fun for me!

Then to top things off I got the news that one of my girls has been suspended from school.  Not for talking back to a teacher, not for fighting, no... for having sex in school.  That's right: HAVING SEX. DURING SCHOOL. UNDER A STAIRWELL. Remember, I coach FRESHMAN girls.

Unbelievable.  So gross.  So awkward.  She may have to be kicked out of our program...that is yet to be decided.

But what an uncomfortable conversation that will be: "I'm sorry sweetie, you are being kicked off the team because you couldn't keep your legs closed during 4th period."

I'm no prude but really?!  REALLY!?

What a practice I tell ya.  What. a. practice.

Frustrated with a capital F

"Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight"

And I almost did get in a fight.  No, actually that is a complete lie.  However, my first day back at school did prove to be frustrating.

I came to school very excited today, having been assured my job status for next year at B.C. High School would be decided.  However that is now NOT the case.  New estimate: end of April.  Another month of stress...yay!

On top of this, I had a very fun frustrating day with my students.

In my World History class, SIX groups were scheduled to present a project they had completed before break.  Actual groups ready to present: ONE.

In that same period, this happened:

Student X: While Ms. C. is busy with another student, flips American Flag upside down.

Me: Noticing upside down flag, "X, turn the flag right side up."

X: "Ughhhhhhh, NO"

Me: "NOW.  You should treat our flag with respect"

X: "I can treat our flag however I want!  It doesn't represent ANYTHING!  We have NO FREEDOMS IN THIS COUNTRY!"

Me: "As a history teacher and someone who has family members in the military, that statement is both incorrect and offensive."

X: "I DON'T CARE!  I will say that to anyone!  I'll say it to everyone in the military!  I can say whatever I want here.  It's called FREEDOM OF SPEECH!"

If that doesn't show logic, I don't know what does.

Welcome back to me, Welcome back

"IMAGINE"

No, not John Lennon style...WHITNEY style.

Today, I am coming out of hiding.  My name is Whitney and I have an overactive imagination.

For as long as I can remember, I've always resorted to my imagination to create fun.  And while most people grow out of theirs, mine seems to get stronger with time.  Is it wrong to be 24 and still imagine on a daily basis?  Sometimes I think it's not normal.

It usually starts as a "shower story" (something I make up while in the shower to pass the time).  But then it crosses over into my daily life; during drives, while with loved ones, before bed.

Because I'm word purging right now, let me give you a full breakdown of how serious this is.  The stories I create in my head are dramatic, outrageous, and incredibly elaborate.  A typical "story" I create lasts from one month to several years.  That's right, YEARS.

The longest-running of mine lasted from about the 4th grade to early high school.  I was wife to the President of the United States who was black (yes, I've always been progressive).  We were the most beloved couple on the planet.  I was continuously voted most beautiful in the world.  I was the voice behind every great song of the 90's.  But I also took it to dark places...oh yes.

I lived through a Holocaust- like experience that occurred within the White House.  (Don't you question my imagination!)  I survived trapped in a mountain after a volcano erupted.  I survived a long coma after being in a gruesome car accident (Princess Diana style...I was coping!).  I even survived 9-11.  Dramatic.  But pure genius.

It seems my story lines are always ripped from the headlines or my current interests.  Other notable story lines include:

- Me as Voldermort's long-lost American sister and best friend to Ron and Hermione.  Of course I tried to hide my past, of course Harry fell in love with me along the way, and of course I played an instrumental role in killing Vodlermort.

- Me as a tough-hitting political strategist who gets a rude and crude wheelchair bound candidate elected president, only to fall in love with him and help him learn to walk (Again, don't question my imagination!)

- Me as a poor commoner who lived on the outskirts of town (ISR, later 1st and Springfield) but traveled into town (the quad) on errands, and later met and fell in love with the prince at his castle (the Library)

- Me being kidnapped by vampires (a cross between True Blood and Twilight), falling in love with the Alex Skarsgard lookalike, and eventually both saving the vampire race and bringing peace between vampires and humans.

- Me meeting, falling in love, and having a huge wedding with Prince Harry.  Sadly, Will and Kate die in a horrific plane crash shortly thereafter,  leaving Harry and I to take the throne.  Harry is then assassinated while I'm pregnant.  Turns out, the heir to the throne wasn't his...it was Kyles!

Yes, real life seeped into my latest story.  Mainly because I started feeling guilty that I always have to either kill Kyle off, pretend he never existed, or make him a bad person for my stories to make sense.  I have redeemed myself temporarily.  Next one, Kyle's back to six feet under.

What is really sad is this list could go on, and on, and on.  This isn't normal is it?

Ah well....I DON'T CARE.  I love being in my head, and who wouldn't?  It's a constant soap opera up there.  So if you see me with a glazed over, far away look in my eyes, I ask you to leave me alone.  I'm busy being crowned Queen of England, even if it is JUST my imagination.